Timing

"Are you ready to have your world rocked?"


Honestly, I'm not sure if I am. A week ago, my focus was on everything graduation. The reality that I will be in Haiti six days from now has just begun to slowly sink in. From making sure I had enough Malaria medicine to getting some more linen pants to just sitting and praying in the quiet- I'm getting there inch by inch.

I'm not sure what I had expected, but the reality of no air conditioning and hotter than Texas weather in pants is a comfort I'm sure I won't be fully ready to give up until I have to.

I just started reading a blog tonight that I very much recommend about a Dallas couple who packed up and moved to Haiti a couple months before the earthquake. It's benandkatieinhaiti.blogspot.com

I'm reminded tonight of how good His timing is. It's the first night I've had to rest without simply sleeping in awhile and it's so wonderful to just reflect and write.

When the earthquake hit January 12, 2010, Haiti was immediately on my heart. With a couple months preparation, I had the opportunity to put together a Haiti Worship Concert with a lot of help from other people. It was a time to worship an awesome God, pray for our mission partner in Haiti, and generously give what we could financially.

Soon after, I found out our mission trip was to Haiti! It seemed like a total God thing. We were all prepared when 48 hours before our flight everything fell apart and after much prayer, we knew that God was closing the door. We served locally as "Team Anywhere" and God did amazing things that we all will never forget.

But my heart was still focused on Haiti. I found myself scrounging for any piece of news, any way I could pray, anything that I could do.

That desire was still on my heart like no other. My heart broke for the Haitian people. I felt inadequate. I was first angry at God for "stealing" this opportunity. I didn't understand. I had to come to terms with selfish motivations that so often plague even good intentions.

A few months ago, I found that it would be possible to serve in Haiti, even....by myself. I will be staying with our mission partner and his family, but it's still so different than being with a team.
I couldn't believe it. Most people couldn't believe it either when they found out. I'm slowly realizing that God put our plans on hold and gave my heart desires that He would use in HIS timing. There is no doubt that I feel much more prepared now than I did a year ago. I still don't feel prepared by any means, but I am confident that this, Haiti, is where God wants me to serve June 7-21.

I'm excited, scared, anxious, unprepared.

But He is faithful, my strength in weakness, my peace, trustworthy.

He is good. His plans are perfect. His timing is better than we can imagine.

All I can do is rest in all He is and ask that He prepare my heart.

I feel like I'm going in blind. There's so much I don't know and cannot know until I step off that airplane. But that's where faith in a God greater than anything or anyone we could ever imagine comes in.

Please join me in prayer for the Jeanty family and that God would help me to trust Him and prepare my heart to serve however I am needed.